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Read Me
Z and la fille, in collaboration, have decided that there are certain t-shirts, that, if they existed, would make life and seduction just so much easier...
1. Make sure I notice when you sweep me off my feet.
2. "No" isn't my safe word, dummy.
3. Kiss my feet, and I'll know you're not for me; kiss my ass, and you're in with a chance.
4. There's always a quid pro quo, baby.
5. Pay me some attention! Okay, that'll do. You can fuck off now.
6. I'm an attention whore. Yes, it really is that simple.
7. Of course I read your blog. But mine is better, isn't it?
8. Make me do it. No really, make me.
9. Make me mmmmmmmm.
10. One chance. I'm a busy girl.
11. I'm not jealous. I'm surveying my territory.
12. How many? Trust me. You really don't want to know.
13. You can fuck whomever you like. Just don't like them more than me.
14. No, I've never had it like that before. Thank God.
15. Wow, that was amazing! Next!
16. Of course (fill-in-blank), you are very special to me.
17. Of course I want it all. And your point?
18. You're the best I've ever had. No, really.
19. You've got a lot to live up to. Good luck.
20. I'd ask you to stay the night, but ... nah.
21. Self-esteem, schmelf-esteem. Just do me.
22. I'm going to fuck your brai... oops! Wrong window.
23. Let's get this straight. I'm the adorable slut. You're the ever-faithful lover.
24. If you were as witty as us, we'd fuck you for real.
25. Come on -- it isn't going to lick itself now, is it.
26. If I want your opinion, I'll... no, not going to happen.
27. Fuck me now! No, not you -- I was talking to him.
28. Fuck now. Talk later.
29. If it doesn't leave a mark, why bother?
30. Oh good. Another cock picture.
If you made it through all 30, here's another one for you:
31. If you can work out who wrote what, I'll do you.
Oh wait... and of course... because this is la fille and Z:
32. I've got her... why do I need a man?
33 comments:
La Fille: 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 13, 17, 20, 21, 22, 24, 27, 29, 30.
Z: 1, 3, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, 23, 26, 28.
Neither: 25 ... :)
I'm free all next week ladies. Come and get me.
Nope. Sorry, you lose. Next!
I so do not. And I have the evidence to prove it. Get packing, both of you.
All you really need is #9. If I can appeal to her mind and her sense of adventure, it will all eventually come to fruition. The first thing to do is to make you feel wanted. Special. In the moment.....That's the way I look at life.
Man With Secrets, you are so far off, it's not even funny. Less than 50%.
Ron -- Nice thought. You would do #9 so well.
Oh Cafepress would have a field day with these! They are brilliant.
Rups
I am a simple man. 30 made me laugh (yep, I have seen too many of those too - and I wasn't even looking for them).
31. Hmmm, thinking about it and thinking. No Thanks. Maybe if we are all in the same room and every wrong guess means drinking.
Why?
1. I choose not to play mind games for sex. I have plenty of options so that I don't have to play if I don't want to.
2. I like party games.
Rupert: We're glad you like them. I think we should start screenprinting.
Silent Male: personally, I love mind games, and hate party games.
Hi la fille and Z. I am fairly new to this blog. So this is totally guessing. Wish me luck, I have always wanted 2 or 3 women at the same time.
la fille: 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 15, 16, 18, 21, 25, 27, 28, 29, 31
Z: 1, 4, 5, 10, 11, 13, 14, 17, 19, 20, 23, 24, 26, 30, 32
Anonymous man: 22
I am probably not even close. But I would be happy to hear my score anyway.
Just over 50%, Vampyr. :(
Hi Vampyr: your score is as follows:
la fille: 7 correct
Z: 7 correct
Anonymous man: 0 correct
But I can't actually remember which of us wrote no.19 - I think that one is common to every woman in the world :)
I did better than I expected. I look forward to hearing the correct answers.
#12 for LFM, #13 for C.
#19 was you, Z!
Tom, you're so right... #13 says exactly how you feel about C. For Z and I (or at least for me), I think it's more about being a diva... behave however you like, but you better be very cognizant that I am #1. :)
I dont care which of you wrote which ones you are both awsome but here is my order
1,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12 x2, 13, 14, 15,16,17,22,23,25,27,28,29
LiR, I like your list. Guess who wrote #25? :)
I don't care who wrote what, they are all good but I especially love #25.
Oh, goodie..I love games.
LFM- 1, 4, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 16, 18, 21, 22, 23, 28, 29, 30
And I guess that would mean Z did the rest, but I'm too lazy to write the others. I'm thinkin' you smart gals can figure it out.
Let me try my luck here. From my understanding of you from your blog, I would say the ffg. were written by LFM and the rest by Z:
2, 5, 6, 7, 9, 13, 16, 17, 18, 20, 23, 24, 30
Let me know how I fare. Thanks.
Yes... it's 18 I'm confused about really, not 19. Apparently I'm number dyslexic.
Gillette, LFM wrote 7 of those, and I wrote 8.
Peace Child, you got 7 for LFM, and 9 for me.
We are inscrutable women of mystery.
#25 well obviously that was me but I just sent the vibe to Z to write as did every other woman who enjoys such pleasure and thinks that is what man and or women are put on this earth for ;-)
I could not even make a guess ... but they are fucking hiliarious.
I want a no.8. but no.22 is making me laugh SO MUCH
Well now , Gillette has a new product line idea for her online business.. with royalties paid to Z and LFM in airmiles for rendevous' with long distance lovers and each other..With one added shirt
"Smart Girls do it...for humanity's sake..Gift me now..save a sister or her child's life tomorrow. "
After the week I have had on a certain site. This post was just the salve I needed. Great work!
Love ya both, xxoo
Francesca, that is such a brilliant idea, and I love #33!
Me, :), and you are probably right not to bother guessing.
Coming soon to a souvenir shop on Bourbon Street in New Orleans . . .
#29 is priceless!
Z -- #18 was you. :)
Cherrie -- Yay! That one was mine. Far too dark for Z. ;)
So, when you gonna let us all in on who did which one? (she says with eager puppy dog eyes...and tongue sticking out while she pants)
#23 truly warms my heart. Thanks, ladies. :-)
Aww, ya'll missed this one:
"I'd like to fuck your brains out, but I see someone's beaten me to it."
Best to use a soft English accent on that one ;-)
brilliant, irish.
My brain is spinning with suggestions, the best I can do is....
If you are standing close enough to read this t-shirt, you should at least be tickling my clit......
MNO
I am in love with your site and well I love the T shirt Idea, I am a collector of screened tees and some of your suggestions made me spew soda onto my keyboard!
These are friekin hilarious!!!!!!
xoxo
~Lauren Vaughn
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